Missing third spaces, missing real connection

The loss and commercialization of third spaces - those places where people can just hang out without needing to spend money - has completely changed how we see our friends. I remember back when me and my friends would ride our bikes to Walmart and just mess around for hours, playing the demo games, maybe sneaking a drink, looking at the fish tanks. Nobody cared if we weren’t actually buying anything, and honestly, we weren’t the only ones doing it. Same thing with the mall: my parents talk about how, when they were in high school, half the students would go straight to the mall after class, not even to shop but just to chill and run into people. Even when I was a kid, my friends and I would do laps around the mall, get free movie tickets from friends who worked at the theater, flip through CDs at FYE, maybe hit GameStop or Toys R Us. Now, most malls are dying out or have curfews and rules for teens, and anywhere else you try to hang out, you’re expected to spend money just to exist there. It’s not just that public spaces like parks or libraries are getting rarer or less appealing - it’s also that most of us live in tiny apartments or sharehouses where having people over is almost impossible. I can barely fit a dining table in my place, let alone host a group, and forget about parking. Buying a house with actual space for friends is basically a fantasy unless you’ve got hundreds of thousands for a down payment and can handle a $6,000 mortgage. So when people ask why it’s so hard to just see friends and feel part of something, this is why: every spot that used to be free to hang out in, whether it was a store, a mall, or even someone’s backyard, is either gone, too expensive, or off-limits. No wonder it feels so much harder to just connect.